friends

friends can always bring joy no matter what terrible state are you in..
it doesn't matters even if we have separate lives.. think of different things.. live with different people.. we can always talk about something whenever we gather together.. laugh about something we do together.. and .... do a lot of things together.. that is what friends for..
i appreciate every moment i spent with my dear friends.. o.. lets exclude the time you all laugh me argh.. hehe.. just forget the stupid things we (i) did.. ^_^ lalalala..

okaey.. talk about how i spent my days after SPM.. meaningful!!?!?! haha..
1st day.. all day trip to fetch back my dear sister.. after so many months leaving home.. that girl maybe grew "up"a bit lor.. haha.. don comment her here..
2nd day.. "officially" open the new shop lorr.. haha.. confidential to my family only how we open it.. haha.. sometimes it is totally funny to be with family and talk silly..XD
3rd day... which is today.. spent time with friends le.. haha.. parkson there met kahying them.. then spent few hours search for prom dress for dear vv.. even go to imperial mall.. hehe.. sorry i left early to go home sleep lor.. din sleep much at night bah.. but din sleep dao oso.. haha.. rest a while liaw jiu go sophia house.. steamboat nite.. so full.. thank you oo uncle aunty!! eat so much there.. and also the ice cream.. we had a lovely time there.. sing sing sing a while.. then talk a bit about our future.. every one seems to have some plans oledi.. sii lorr.. me leh????!!!! nvm.. tonite still can sleep.. haha..

okay.. and then is the nights.. most of it is just blogging bah i think.. my mood is just extremely different.. hope tonight not.. haha.. i wont watch drama tonite.. quite tired today..
1st nite.. tiring journey all day rite.. but.. 12am i was asleep.. and then 2 am i wide awake liaw.. good.. cannot sleep oledi lorr.. so just lie there till morning.. note that that night got raining..
2nd nite.. shud sleep well de.. then..din on9.. so not my life de.. with a laptop but cannot on9.. so go find got any stock of drama lorr.. then.. a litre of tears.. yup.. i finish 6 episodes that nite.. till 130 or 230.. cannot read the time liaw larr.. eyes too tired from crying.. cried from the 1st 5 minute when i start watch oo.. haha.. din affect my day the next day larr.. just my shuang yan pi bian dan lorr.. haha..
3rd nite is now lorr.. got a book from sophia.. but dun think i would start reading b4 i finish the drama.. now still dono want sleep or watch drama.. tomolo have to do lots of things lorr.. haha..

this post kinda fei.. just about my life.. but i just like to know how i spent it.. 1st 3 days and nights after SPM bah.. haha.. tomolo cai reply the tag by melo.. hehe.. 1st tag of this blog..

raining

it is just the best way to spend the night when SPM ends..

on the very night that i thought will be the happiest night ever...

i cried.

all night..

alone..

in my room..

this rainy season..

how many nights i cried alone in my room..

before SPM.. during SPM.. and after SPM..

it was raining outside.. and i was all by myself..

是因为太孤单的夜。。还是太安静的夜。。

夜空星光闪烁。。我却没有闲情去享受那片沉静。。

或许是害怕未来，或许是过分想你，或许是忘了快乐。。

我不懂。。我的眼泪。。几时才会停滞。。

下雨天了怎么办 我好想你 不敢打给你 我找不到原因

什么失眠的声音 变得好熟悉 沉默的场景 做你的代替 陪我听雨滴

期待让人越来越沉迷 谁和我一样 等不到他的谁

爱上你我总在学会 寂寞的滋味

一个人撑伞 一个人擦泪

一个人好累

我好像该戒了想你的习惯。。戒了。。应该 会活得比较好吧？

我开心就好。。 是吧？

independence

stepping out from the school..

I wondered where my future lies..

christmas is coming.. and then is new year.. and after that is??


i have always know that being a student is the most happy moments of life.. the future just stretch out like that.. 3 years of kindergarden, 6years of primary school, 5 years of secondary school and then.. maybe 4 years of uni??.. but.. i felt so different now.. it just doesn't feel the same way to go from a kindergarden to a primary school, from a primary school to a secondary school, or now.. from secondary school to pre-u.. it is so different.. i donno how to decide.. it feels like a really big step..
and the big difference is.. my parents wont tell me where is my directions.. i have to choose myself.. +_+


bro and sis had decide their future themselves.. and they have choose their life.. what about me.. how do everyone face this problem.. i know that i should decide this after sec. school.. so i have been thinking about it for at least 2 years.. but.. i still donno where to go.. what to do.. and what is the goal of my life... I DONT KNOW!!!!!

felt so rotten now.. everytime i ask my dad.. he will be like.. "little gal, finish your spm 1st.. dun worry about it yet" but he never know.. after everytime i ask him.. is because i felt very helpless.. and have no directions at all.. i know that i will be facing it soon... and it is now.. this problem is just so massive.. for me.. i hate being so helpless..

learning independent.. the 1st step to success.. and learn to make decisions.. i just hate that..

SPM ends..

27/11/2008 一个值得记得的日期... 或许吧... 因为.. 我的内心好像并没有想象中快乐..
是因为你吗?
这三个星期.. 有你的陪伴.. 可能让我过得轻松许多吧..
无法告诉你..
有多少个无眠的夜, 是因为有你的相伴...
有多少次安稳的睡, 是因为梦里听见你幽默的笑..
又有多少个失眠的夜, 是因为我倔强不找你..
还有多少个安静的夜, 是因为我不知该不该找你..
你知道吗.. 我有多挣扎.. 隔天考物理.. 我最害怕的恶梦..
那一夜.. 我不敢找你.. 不是怕烦你.. 你说过你不会读了..
我不敢让自己习惯在内心惶恐时找你..
即使知道我很需要你..
我怕以后我找不到你了.. 我会完了..
知道一直在骗自己.. 可是我真的相信.. 一切都过了..
想不到理由再挂念你.. 我亲爱的朋友..
可是..
今天可能是我们最后一次见面了吧.. 跟你有多少次的擦肩而过..
我们连四目对焦的勇气都没有..
今早问你我们的相识.. 你朋友知道吗..
你应该明白我的意思..
因为有太多次.. 你好不自然..
我想告诉你.. 我不是隐形的.. 更不是瞎的..
我在意.. 你骄傲的步调..
不会再见了吧..
或许不说再见..
我们就会真的永远不见了吧..

有一点点希望.. 我会忘了一些不存在的回忆..
因为我不想忘记你..
撒盐.. 我们都撒的彻底..
最后..别忘了.. 加油..

i LoVe all my dear friends!!

just read leefen's post about how she feels that her family love her deeply.. hehe.. so now, i also want to tell all my friends and family here that in every seconds of my life, in the past, now and future, i felt loved and blessed.. hehe.. every moment, i appreciate everyone who affects my life, and bring happiness and joy to my very soul.. haha.. {i'm in a very happy mood currently..dono why} i love my family... always.. and i love all my friends... especially you.. who still come here and read my nonsense.. hehe.. and the one who always help me when i face difficulties, the one who accompany me when i can't sleep, the one who won't complain no matter how late i find you, the one who will not leave me alone.. really thank you and 辛苦你了,朋友!!! i love all my dear friends!!! ^o^

4 days to the end

after so long time abandoning my blog, i finally come back.. it is just so not true that i saved the time from blogging to study smart.. it's just a typical excuse for being lazy to sign in and blog.. haha.. i can't stay away from blogging at all actually.. these days when i din write here, i will just jot down my feelings or draw somethings on my books when i am staring at my books.. blogging is actually a good way to express self feelings at all times.. but to me.. i think i blog way too much until now i'm not sure of controlling my feelings.. ^.^ i sees like cannot pull myself together, decide anything myself, and just want to share my feelings at all time.. have to control myself lerr.. hehe.. ^_^
i am now in the mood of no more exams.. so this last week of SPM.. i hope i wont just very 萧洒地放手 ... haha.. i want to put a fire on all my books lerr.. maybe there should be a culture where students burn all their books after graduation.. anyway if we go into uni the things we study are all different already.. and the concepts we learn now are all wrong de in the future.. ^o^

A new blog again

changing site here right after my secondary school life..
I'm still me.. and this blog will be activated as soon as Spm ends...